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To all the insecure mothers - you are anything less than extraordinary

Insecure mother's realization

Do you know what most women are insecure about?

It's being a mother.

Am I raising my kids well? Do my kids hate me? We basically question our parenting skills every day.

And we know deep down, that no matter how hard we try right now, there is no guarantee that our kids are going to end up okay.

Then we wonder, how did our parents do it? We turned out pretty good, right?

How can we ensure that our kids end up like us? Good, decent, responsible adults.

I bought a new uniform for Lucas that was too big for him now. I thought I would sew the pants to fit him. So I looked at how my mother-in-law did it - with the old pants.  And that's when I became dramatic and ended up writing this article.

I threw the old pants aside. It was hand-sewn but it looked perfect! Okay, so my MIL was a seamstress. Still, for me, she was the perfect mother.

She cooks well, cleans fast, knows how to remove the stain on clothes, can produce money out of nothing, can find everything you ask her to find. She can basically fix anything!

And then there's my own mother... I was rubbing some lotion on Lucas one night, I told him my own mother never helped me take care of my skin. In fact, she never checked if I brushed my teeth or cleaned my ears. I know because I remember my aunts pointing it out.

My own mother told me it's okay if I don't learn how to wash or iron my clothes. She said someone else can do it for me. Yeah, it's a good excuse as to why I never liked doing household chores.

I looked back on how I was as a housewife but there's no way to put it nicely - I suck at it! I did not cook - still can't! Lucas's blue uniform ended up looking like it was dyed because I accidentally bleached it. And I couldn't get myself to mop our small apartment as often as I should have.

Anyway, I told myself "It's okay. never mind that my 3rd-grade teacher criticized my stitching ability in front of the class", Lucas wouldn't even notice the stitches!

While stitching the new pants, I realized, why should these things define me as a mother anyway?!!!

Why am I even comparing myself to my mothers?!!!

We do things differently and that's okay...

My sister got all three of her kids a tutor - I like teaching Lucas myself.

My mother-in-law likes using Baguio brooms - I like using the vacuum cleaner.

My sister-in-laws learned how to cook - I refused to learn how to cook and let their brother do all the cooking.

My neighbor hang washed clothes outside to dry as early as 7 am - I hang our clothes by 12 noon, or bring them all to the laundry shop.

My friend @bentobette plan and very artistically prepare her daughter's lunchboxes - I made sure Lucas gets a different lunch every day.

We do things differently but we have one thing in common - we do these things because we love our children!

We wake up early to make sure our kids go to school.
Our kids have clean uniforms (ironed, or in my case, not ironed) when they go to school.
They have healthy snacks and lunch.
They get enough sleep and they are very well entertained.

Is that enough? Will they grow up like us? Normal, decent, and responsible adults?

Who the hell knows!???

I mean, why can't we put our fingers to what exactly our parents did for us to be the kind of person that we are? Because maybe like you and me? Our mothers probably had no idea too!

So, to all the insecure mothers out there, you are not the only one babe. Do not let all the chaos in our world make you believe that you are anything less than extraordinary. Our kids are healthy and happy, let's continue to do things our way - with our personal touch of care and love.

Someday, our kids will look back and think, "how did my mother do it?" *fingers crossed haha!*

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