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Mommy, Is there still a chance for me to get a pointy nose? On Building Self-Confidence and Overcoming Physical Insecurities

"Is there a chance for me to get a pointy nose? Like my teacher?" My 6-year-old son asked one day.

I stopped myself from laughing before I answered. [Gosh! His questions are getting more adorable!]

"No, baby. I'm sorry. Your nose won't be pointy. Your nose is the same as mommy's and daddy's nose. Your teacher is from UK. We are from the Philippines. We are from different groups of people. Filipinos usually don't have a pointy nose."

"I'd like to have a pointy nose!" He insisted.

The conversation was longer than this, of course.  It wasn't the last conversation we had about pointy noses, of course.

Then I thought about my childhood. Didn't I also want to have a pointy nose?

I remember being insecure about my nose especially in photos! I thought about the time when I wasn't happy with my nose. I even thought I'd save enough money to get a nose job!

Growing up, I knew I wasn't pretty.

We'd go out in a group and boys would always notice my cousin Anna. There's something about Anna. She draws attention anywhere we go.

I was fine about not getting attention. I didn't like it (when I was young). I was very timid.

I knew I wasn't the prettiest and I was very fine with that.  My first boyfriend was a bit popular among other girls.  I would often hear comments like, "Hindi naman maganda yung girlfriend niya, maputi lang." ("She's not pretty, she's just fair-skinned.")

Even as a child, they would call me "Amerikanang pango ang ilong". (American with a flat nose). It's because I had white skin like a caucasian's, my hair was almost blonde, but my nose isn't pointy!

Side note: Depending on the shape of your nose. "Pango" could mean that you have a flat nose, round nose, nose without a bridge, or pug nose. Haha!

Here's little me!

When Lucas saw my wedding photo, he noticed that my nose was pointy then. Ah, the magic of make-up! The magic of angles and photoshop!

Now, I still think I'd look better if my nose has gotten a bit of a bridge.
I still think it would be nice if my glasses don't fall off every time my nose perspire. I still tilt my head on picture time to show my best angle.

Side view lagi dapat!

But no, even if I can afford it now, I will not get a nose job.

I've forgotten the time when I stopped feeling insecure or conscious about my nose. Or generally the way I look.

Maybe when I got married? When I had a child? I don't remember. Thank God for my poor memory! Haha!

I care more about what I think of myself rather than what other people would say. Take note that I'm only talking about physical appearance. What about you?

Previous blog about how I outgrew my shyness - Without CHANGE, there will be NO BUTTERFLIES

With that, I know my son would outgrow it too. It's not as if he lacked confidence now! The teachers told me he is very confident. I KNOW he is TOO confident! 😄

Anyway, as usual, my reflection didn't stop about myself. I suddenly felt curious about how other people handled their physical insecurities.

First chat, MS. LESLEY

Growing up, she's always been on the heavy side. She was so cute with her chubby cheeks that adults find her adorable. She can also sing and dance really well. As a child, she enjoyed cooking. Because other kids are picky with food, adults enjoyed feeding her too.

As such, she gained weight over the years. But you know what's surprising? She never lacked confidence with herself! She was never insecure about her body! She didn't self-pity!

As a result, people are drawn to her even more. I especially love talking to her because she knows how to listen. I remember always teasing her. She doesn't like it when you leave her hanging with a story. She is genuinely interested in ANYTHING you want to say.

Her weight didn't give her any problem with her love life. Sure, she got her heartbroken one or two times, didn't we all? Now, she is happily married to a man who is head over heels with her!  I'm telling you, his husband would move mountains for her!  Which made other people wonder why he chose Lesley.

Lesley did not mind them at all. The man pursued her, even when she did not like him at the start. I asked her why. Why she was never insecure. This was her answer.

"I don't know. Maybe because of the love from family and friends. And that no one really forces me to lose weight. I've always felt contented and happy with my life. I never compared myself to other people. I'm not the envious type."

Currently, she is embracing fitness for health reasons - together with her husband.

Second chat with GRACE - "Ms. Feeling Vlogger"

I noticed a vlog from a friend. She doesn't wear make-up. Her hair was disheveled. She was eating with a snotty nose!

I mean, what's up with her? Doesn't she care about what our colleagues will say?

Here's her response. I left it as is because I found it so funny!

"I have insecurities from head to toe meron! Buhaghag hair, super dark eyebags, freckles & melasma, chubby cheeks, peklatssss, and many more!"

"More than how I look like, I'm more conscious on what others would think about my content. Pero about appearance, gusto ko din sana na mas maayos ako tingnan especially now sa version 2.0. Unfortunately, lahat ng make-ups and pang dress up ko na clothes nasa Manila. Dito kasi ako sa Mindoro. Casual clothes lang ang meron ako. Which is yun talga ako, mas comfy ako sa dress down eh. Not a fan of tiis ganda. Comfy over beauty talga ako."

Then why does she vlog?

"Before, mas conscious ako sa camera. Ngayon hindi na masyado, lalo na pag video. I find it quite weird pero mas conscious ako talaga pag magpapicture kesa pag video. Malikot kasi talaga ako sa in person. Hirap ako to steady and pose. Pag video okay lang kasi I can be natural."

"Hindi ko din talga alam what really pushed me to do vlogging. Yung small things siguro then nag-add up sila. Pero dream ko talaga maging talk show host. Akala ng iba nagjojoke ako pero serious yun! And ang hyper ko kasi talga as a person. Ang dami ko energy plus daldal ko pa. So gusto ko yun ishare sa mga makakapanuod ng vlogs ko. Gusto ko talga magspread ng good vibes and positivity. Nun nagtry ako, naenjoy ko ng sobra kaya tuloy tuloy na. Parang diary ko na din siya at least someday, I have something to look back at makikita ko kung gaano ako kasabaw dati!"

[Daldal nga niya ano? 😆]

Interesting, right? I think it wasn't as easy as that. And for some people, some experiences are traumatic. Those with parents who constantly mocks them, being constantly bullied, or even being denied physical and verbal affection.  All because of their physical appearance.

I know I myself have gone through some pretty bad experiences. I was mocked and I felt envious. I was teased fat, "pandak", "malaki ang pata", "matigas ang katawan", "sintunado", etc! etc! etc!

What made the difference for me is having the right mindset and strong will.  What do I mean? Bad things happen and we live through them - that's me envisioning myself as a survivor, never the victim.  Sometimes I think of myself as the "hunter" of positive vibes, rather than the "haunted" of bad memories.

There are a lot of mean people in this world. Sabi nga ni Angel Locsin (PH celebrity who gained weight recently because of health problems), "Perfect ka?" "Ako, wala akong problema. Bakit ikaw ang dami mong issue? Ako nga, walang issue, eh. Katawan ko 'to, ako 'to, sarili ko 'to. Ikaw, okay ka ba?”

We always have a choice and we should be strong enough to choose to be unaffected by unsolicited comments. If you can't, it's time to seek support from loving friends and family. Even strangers give us a boost in our confidence these days.

If you still have insecurities, try to focus on your strengths and the people who support you rather than those who try to bring you down.  Remind yourself that each detail makes up the unique you!

If you are worried about your child, I have no advice. Hehe!  You guys know I'm not an expert! I'm sure there's no need to panic or be alarmed.


I suggest you visit the Unicef site if you have concerns. They have guides on how to turn theories into practice.

As for Lucas, he's forgotten about it in the meantime. I'm glad he noticed his flat nose now. It's better to accept it earlier rather than later, don't you think? 😂

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